hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
