And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
