This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
