I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
