just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize