I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just invented taco cereal.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
