thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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