Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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