i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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