i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there was a trapeze. enough said
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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