he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
