Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Randomize
