Having a random hookup so left but love u
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
