tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
