It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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