I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So much Jack, so little girl.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
