Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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