i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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