I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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