i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
