Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
