Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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