Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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