we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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