go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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