blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
