Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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