I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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