Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
