she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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