My nipple is on Facebook.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
