after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
