We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
