just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
