I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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