one might say we're banned from that church
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
