he shaved USA in his pubs
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
