Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
