its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
