We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
