Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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