I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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