It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
