The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
