I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
