who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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