I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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