Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
