I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
