Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize