When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
