Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize