Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
