A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
