I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
