Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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