My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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