so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
