I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
did you just send me my own nude
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
