Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
