Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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