I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize